Think on this for a sec:
“No” is one of the easier words to learn when attempting a new language because no matter where you are in the world; the word is the same or very similar.
Soooo why is it so darn difficult for us to let this tiny word fall from our lips or onto the page? According to social psychologist Susan Newman, Ph.D., “most people have a hard time turning down requests.”
That means you’re not alone if you just can’t seem to utter or write this tiny word. Heck, I just got over my “no-phobia” about six months ago. But by doing so, I’m more refreshed, less stressed and able to give my best to everything I CHOOSE to do.
Ready to crush your fear of saying “no”?
Heck YES, you are! Start here:
Crush Your “No-Phobia” Once and For All
Let’s say your boss just asked you to stay late to work on a new project, and you don’t want to. You have two choices:
1. Stay and be miserable (when your heart’s not in it, your work suffers)
2. Say no and be more productive (because when you feel good, you work better)
Now surely, you can’t just tell your boss to buzz off and leave you the hell alone. That would be rude (and might have you on the entrepreneur train much sooner than expected).
But you can say something like this:
Thanks so much for thinking of me for the project. I appreciate your trust in my ability to handle what sounds like a wonderful opportunity for the company. I am unable to stay tonight for the meeting, but would love to be on the team. Can I take you out for coffee on Monday to catch up on what the team discussed?
See how I tucked the “no” in between two affirming statements?
The “Tuck the No” Method
You first start off with a compliment or a statement of appreciation to warm up the recipient to your message. Then you move into the “no” and end your note with a solution that benefits the recipient (and you, of course).
I call this “Tuck the No” ™ (TTN) method. And you can use TTN for emails to friends, colleagues, business partners, family members and everybody you know!
So the next time you want to say “no,” don’t be shy. Just do it! Try the TTN method and send me a note letting me know how it feels to crush your “no” phobia once and for all.